When running away isn't an option
If you’re a part of my, it only took a year challenge, or you’ve been rocking with me as I walk daily with the Lord as a writer, designer, and speaker—then you are no stranger to the intensity of my high school to college transition.
I struggled with anxiety and depression.
I found myself running at the expense of my safety.
It’s what I was subconsciously taught. Inconsistency is a learned behavior. I overcompensated in constantly attempting to give of myself with time and talent because if no one else shows up, who will? And internally, trying to flee from me.
How you start a thing is how you end a season.
My twenty-twenty transitioned like my twenty-eighteen started, with tears—this time from college to adulthood.
Tears are cleansing for the soul.
I no longer swallow them at the expense of making those around me comfortable.
In twenty-thirteen, I ran.
At twenty-twenty-three, I cry instead of running.
How did I get here?
You [God] do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you [God] do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.
I continuously come to God with a humble heart, broken over my shortcoming for him to mold me into the purest vessel He created me to be.
But what happens when running is NOT an option, or your tears run dry?
December 19, twenty-twenty-two, I came face to face with myself and answered prayers.
During our executive team training and prophetic impartation, Dr. E started with these words from Judges 6:25—tear down the altar your father built and build God a proper one. These were the instructions God told Gideon.
Most of what comes to the surface in our hearts are junk inherited from the previous generation, unbeknownst to us.
The foundation is faulty.
God is asking us to tear down the altar inherited, of old, to build a new one we can climb upon and stay. This way, our children will know from the remembrance f our experience and the intentional, internal work done in us, so they don’t have to heal from their childhood.
As I was told on December 19, God is not looking for our agreement—He’s expecting our compliance.
Through the generations of old, I learned both the language of running and fortitude. Inside of me, it created a double-mindedness.
The enemy will ALWAYS pervert the purity of God’s kingdom. When I look over my life, there is always a duality in my nature. This is what God foreknew in me before He formed me in my mother’s womb.
My birthday is half of the month, the month is half of the year, and my name has a dual meaning. My calling is dualistic. God often speaks to me through the numbers two and twenty-two. Biblically speaking, twenty-two means revelation, light, and insight. Light is another term for order.
The above breakdown is what God’s revealed over the years as I follow him. In the wrong environment, unsubmitted, double-mindedness attempts to pervert the purity of God’s wiring of me.
I challenge you to ask God to show you, YOU.
God’s not having a conference call with others about you, nor is he having a conference call with you—obey.
At the beginning of the year, my pastor taught a message on Success. He explained how Success is only mentioned in the Bible once in correlation to obedience.
What if, while building a new altar, we took all our requirements off the table and climbed on it ourselves, giving God our twenty-twenty-three and beyond without attempting to tell him what we need?
Do the last thing God told you and rest in his presence.
Tear down the old, inherited, built-on sinking sand to—Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash (Matthew 7:24-27);
Build God a proper one upon—the stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone (Psalm 22:18);
And offer yourself as a sacrifice—“And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him (Romans 12:1).
Remember, an altar is a place of encounter, communication, and exchange. It’s a place of remembrance.
Let this be a season to remember what God did and is doing! Not a bitter reminder of where we stopped climbing because the foundation started sinking.
That night the Lord said to Gideon, “Take the second bull from your father’s herd, the one that is seven years old. Pull down your father’s altar to Baal, and cut down the Asherah pole standing beside it. Then build an altar to the Lord your God here on this hilltop sanctuary, laying the stones carefully. Sacrifice the bull as a burnt offering on the altar, using as fuel the wood of the Asherah pole you cut down (Judges 6:25-26).”
Tear down the altar your father built and build God a new one.
Your accountability partner,